S02E14 - The Audit

"The Audit" is the fourteenth episode of Season 2 of We Can Fix Pawbert and the second part of the two-part Brooklyn Nine-Nine crossover. The annual Halloween heist is held at Site Two, functioning simultaneously as a genuine security audit of the safehouse.

Synopsis

The officers of Precinct 99 arrive at Site Two for the Halloween heist, reframed as a security audit. Over the course of the night, the 99 discovers four significant vulnerabilities -- a kitchen camera blind spot, a roof access lock vulnerable to shimming, a weak basement window frame, and a warped back door frame. Pawbert wins the heist again using Captain Holt as a visible decoy while executing a trophy swap into Charles's backpack. Holt presents comprehensive security index cards, and Jake takes a group Polaroid for Pawbert's corkboard.

Plot

On October 31st, two unmarked vehicles arrive at Site Two carrying the officers of Precinct 99 for the annual Halloween heist. Jake immediately begins a tactical assessment, cataloguing the safehouse's many vents with theatrical enthusiasm while Amy clutches a binder and Rosa silently tracks every exit. Charles brings a cooler, backpack, and three bags of supplies including seventeen cheeses and a four-hour charcuterie assembly. Terry examines the walls with approval, though a vibrating support beam prompts concern. Captain Holt arrives last, perfect posture intact, and establishes the parameters: the heist will function as an overt security audit, with all vulnerabilities disclosed immediately rather than at midnight.

As alliances form during the ten-minute negotiation period, Pawbert approaches Holt by the window. He explains that he recognizes Holt planned this as a security audit from the beginning, not a trophy competition. Pawbert proposes an alliance built on a specific strategy: Holt will be visible, drawing everyone's attention and anticipation, while Pawbert works invisibly in his shadow. Holt accepts, noting that Pawbert will be dismissed as a subordinate, an afterthought. The partnership is formed with a paw-to-trunk handshake.

The heist begins in earnest as the various teams execute their strategies. Jake leads Nick and Charles through the ceiling vents, where they discover a kitchen camera blind spot—a fifteen-degree gap in the northwest corner that would allow a medium-sized mammal to move unseen. Jake immediately texts the finding per the disclosure rules. Rosa and Luther, having formed an alliance with only eighteen words, test the roof access door. Rosa's metal shim bypasses the lock in three seconds, revealing that standard-grade hardware lacks anti-shim pins. She hands the shim to Luther as evidence, noting that this is a real security problem, not a heist concern. Terry works methodically through the basement and back entrance, discovering that the basement window frame flexes under pressure and the back door frame is warped from weather or age.

The first security briefing brings the full group together. Four vulnerabilities have been identified in three hours: the kitchen camera blind spot, the roof access lock, the basement window frame, and the back door frame. Terry states plainly that he came to ensure his friends are safe, not to win a trophy. Amy and Judy immediately begin compiling a prioritized remediation schedule cross-referenced with threat assessments.

With security work progressing, the competition intensifies. Holt creates the pivotal opening at hour two by loudly observing that Jake and Pawbert sound eerily similar. While everyone's attention shifts to process this peculiar observation, Pawbert executes the trophy swap, placing the real trophy into Charles's ever-present backpack and leaving a papier-mâché decoy painted gold on the shelf. The misdirection is complete before anyone realizes the game has changed.

As midnight approaches, Jake orchestrates a final attempt using Charles as a distraction through an orchestrated brie emergency. Charles bursts from the kitchen declaring thermal distress on imported cheese, drawing all eyes. Jake makes his move on the trophy, but Pawbert stops him without turning around. The trophy in Jake's paws is wrong—lighter than expected. The decoy. Charles processes his unwitting role with dramatic horror, realizing he served as an unknowing mule for the real prize. Jake recognizes that Pawbert and Holt outplayed everyone: the decoy, the voice distraction, the Charles gambit. He hands the trophy back with genuine respect.

At midnight, Holt produces a stack of index cards documenting the complete security assessment: seven potential entry points identified, four significant vulnerabilities, and three surveillance gaps including the kitchen blind spot. The heist was always cover for genuine protection work. Jake takes a Polaroid of the assembled group—chaotic, imperfect, with half the mammals looking the wrong direction—and gives it to Pawbert for his corkboard. As dawn approaches, the pack surveys the aftermath: index cards with security notes, stray napkins from the charcuterie, and the faint smell of aged cheese. Pawbert reflects that they invited the weirdest cops in Zootopia into their home, and those cops helped protect it. The word comes carefully, still new in his vocabulary: friends.

Key Moments

• Jake's immediate tactical assessment of the safehouse, cataloguing vents with theatrical enthusiasm
• Pawbert approaches Holt by the window and proposes an alliance based on mutual understanding of the audit's true purpose
• Jake and Nick discover the fifteen-degree kitchen camera blind spot while navigating the vents
• Rosa bypasses the roof access lock with a metal shim in three seconds, revealing inadequate hardware
• Terry discovers the basement window frame flexes under pressure during his methodical structural assessment
• Terry discovers the back door frame is warped, potentially vulnerable to significant force
• Holt creates the pivotal opening by loudly noting a peculiar vocal similarity between Jake and Pawbert
• Pawbert executes the trophy swap during Holt's distraction, placing the real trophy in Charles's backpack
• Charles's orchestrated brie emergency draws attention for Jake's final attempt on the trophy
• Jake grabs the shelf trophy only for Pawbert to reveal it's the papier-mâché decoy
• Charles processes his unwitting role as the trophy mule with dramatic horror
• Jake concedes defeat and returns the trophy to Pawbert with genuine respect
• Holt produces comprehensive security index cards documenting all vulnerabilities identified during the heist
• Jake takes a chaotic group Polaroid that captures both precincts together
• Pawbert adds the Polaroid to his corkboard collection alongside existing tokens of kindness
• Pawbert uses the word "friends" to describe the 99, still learning its weight

Key Lines

Characters Introduced

None. All characters appeared previously.

Locations

• Site Two -- entryway, living room, kitchen, hallway, ceiling vents, roof access, basement, back door

Items

• Heist trophy -- "ULTIMATE HEIST CHAMPION/GENIUS"; defended by Pawbert using the Charles gambit; returned to shelf
• Papier-mache decoy trophy -- Painted gold; swapped in at hour two during Holt's vocal distraction
• Security index cards -- Holt's comprehensive audit results documenting seven entry points, four vulnerabilities, and three surveillance gaps
• Squad Polaroid -- Jake's group photo taken with a bright orange sticker-covered camera; added to Pawbert's corkboard
• Prioritized remediation schedule -- Amy's folder organized by urgency, cost, and implementation complexity; given to Judy
• Amy's laminated floor plan -- Color-coded zones showing excluded areas for the heist
• Charles's emergency charcuterie backpack -- Unknowing hiding place for the real trophy; contains cheeses, crackers, and napkins with quotes like "CHEESE BELIEVES IN YOU"
• Rosa's shim -- Metal shim that bypassed the roof access lock in three seconds; handed to Luther as evidence

Notes

• This episode has no villain presence. The entire runtime is dedicated to the heist and the security audit it produces.
• Pawbert's line "I want to use these skills to defend something that matters" marks his transformation from using manipulation for crime to using it for protection -- a direct echo of Holt's advice from the Season 1 crossover.
• The four vulnerabilities discovered -- kitchen camera blind spot, roof access lock, basement window frame, back door frame -- are addressed before the siege arc that begins two episodes later.
• The heist functions on two levels simultaneously: recreational competition and genuine security work. Every comedic beat produces actionable intelligence.
• Charles's unwitting role as the trophy mule is foreshadowed by his constant attachment to his backpack throughout the episode. Pawbert identifies and exploits this behavioral pattern.
• The Polaroid joining the corkboard continues the visual motif of Pawbert collecting physical proof of kindness -- a growing archive that includes Charles's napkin, his mother's recipe card, and Maddie's card.
• Holt's observation that Jake and Pawbert sound "eerily similar" is a meta reference to both characters being voiced by Andy Samberg. This callback to Pawbert's Jake impression in "The Heist" serves as an in-universe distraction while also winking at the audience.